a first time for everything...

So this is my first time blogging.... ever.... I decided it was time to do this when I realized that there is a community of support out in cyber space that I can utilize... also when I realized I needed a semi-private way to release frustrations about being a foster parent. Not that it is all frustrating... but who am I kidding.... it is frustrating most of the time... at least these days... I guess I should start with a little background, huh?

So my partner and I moved to Vermont almost 3 years ago with a dream of having a family and the rights that the state could give us. We opted to go with foster care (ultimately foster to adopt) and fell in love with our agency (Casey Family Services) who works only with "hard to place" kids. This means, in short, older kids who have generally experienced significant trauma. To make this part of the story short, last July we were introduced to an adorable, sweaty, sweet and funny little 8 year old boy, and decided we would start the process of making him a part of our family. On November 12th of 2009 he moved in full time with us, and our life as a three person family began.

Now, I don't want to imply that we have it terrible, I mean, we have an amazing agency, and a ton of support systems around us. We also have a little guy who has the proven capacity to love, and gives us glimmers of the developed man he has the potential to be from time to time. On the other hand, we have not interacted with one professional yet (and I am talking out of about 25 or so folks) who have not said he is among the most severe cases they have ever seen. Severe in his trauma history specifically, which of course forshadows the many issues he will and already has experienced in trying to become a member of the family.

I would really like to connect to other parents of foster children. I would also love to connect with other lesbian parents. I don't feel like I can come into work on a regular basis and say something like "wow, this morning sucked because his shoes did not feel good on his feet today which resulted in a 1/2 hour of screaming and crying and calling us bitches before a hole was put in the wall until he calmed down and got to school 45 minutes late". Just don't feel like that is really the kind of "watercooler talk" I want to engage in at my workplace. Make sense?

So here's to my first blog.... and here's to taking every day one-day-at-a-time.... what else is there to do, right?